Walk with Me!!!

2 years is a long time. To know someone tht well and to share secrets with. I rmb meeting him for the 1st time online (yes an online friend), he was so talkative. Full wit jokes and ideas. I thought gosh I’m a die if he was my friend. He would just talk on and on and on. But as time passed and the more we knew of each other. We became inseparable.  I liked bein in his company. Just talkin abt things.

A few  months became a year and when I hit college we got disconnected. We started to talk less to each other, sometimes had nothin to share to one another. Then all of a sudden, we started gettin close again. I nvr knew wht drew us back, I guess it was his persistent nature to make ppl happy.  He was there when I broke down n crumbled under all the emotions and feelings I kept pent up inside. He stood by me n listen to me as I unloaded my problems to him. It was then tht it struck me tht tho he was a talkative person, he was also a good listener.

His brought out tht childhood kid in me tht wanted to mess around, trick ppl and make fun. It was enjoyable. We would play imaginery games online. I rmb him makin me laugh and smile back after I was sad and down. He showed he cared. He could tell when I had a problem or somethin is wrong. He kept me encouraged in college n thro exams. I rmb once forcing him to show me pics of himself. He showed me his 12 year old pics and his 18 year old pics. It was so funny. He had tis coconut haircut at 12 and gosh he was cute as a kid =P.

Then he shared wit me his problems. He even let me speak to his lil bro. His lil bro is cool. He even let his gf talked to me. She is a nice and sweet person. At times I get bored and lonely when he is not around. He starts to become some1 who I look forward to to speak with. At times it might seems like there is nothin to talk abt, no new news but between us, there was always somethin to talk abt. It was endless, we could go on and on till the day is dark n not even notice it.

One thing I like best abt him is that he is always there. He never leaves, he will keep holdin on to u even when ur stable. He is like a strong pillar there supporting u. He is one friend which I nvr want to lose. Justin, your too good a fren and I thank you for tht. Ily always as a friend and brother 

I remember how it felt like to play under the rain,

to stand under it for endless minutes and feel it pour down on me.

How the rain showered the earth, breathing life into it, giving hope and strength.

But along the course of life, no raindrops fell to the earth,

The earth was slowly dying as the life tht it had started to slip away slowly.

It lost hope, strength and the will to live, to carry on in its crusade in life.

I went through all tis, went through hell, thought I wouldnt heal after wht u did,

The fact you played a game wit me, left me broken n shattered to pieces

I lost hope, lost a point in life, thought I’ll nvr make it thro,

But once again, my angel was there, he gave me strength, gave me hope.

Gave me the will to fight, to live again and to carry on and put the past behind.

How he held me up and became my pillar of strength is tis time got me thro it.

And now I give up my life, soul and heart to him.

Knowin he will look after it well.

To always protect me from the pain n sufferings.

To nvr see me cry again, to nvr let another teardrop fall.

To put laughter and joy back in my life.

And to hold on to me each time I stumble and fall.

Its finally over, done with, I’m walkin my own way now wit my hand held tightly in his. My angel, my pillar of strength, my shelther, my hope and my love. Never lookin back, never gonna pick the past up, wht is done is done.. @>–%—

Time has passed for so long. A year has come and gone but yet certain things remain in tis life and some r lost along the way. I nvr thought we will reach to where we are now, to be able to be wit you for now. I knw I hav nvr been there for you. Not havin the time to spent wit you. You waited patiently. Among the few qualities tht I love and cherish. You became so much a part of me, so much of my life now revolves around you. You became one part of my soul and my heart now yearns for you every single day for every single minute of my life. I cant tell my family abt you, I’m afraid of their  perception of you, their thoughts of you and our relationship, their objections to this relationship. I knw I must tell them that I cant hide tis forever but I’m just afraid of losing you. You hav brought so much joy to my life, so much laughter tht I dont want to lose it now or ever. I nvr felt so calm but when I am wit you, witout worry and witout problems to think of. You became my strenght n pillar in the times of trouble.  A blessing tht God send my way. For the past few months, the troubles faces, the difficulties in this relationship only strengten us. Not 1 minute spent wit you hav I regretted, It is becoz of you tht I once again hav a purpose in tis life. I’ll love you now,always and forever, Cedric Ghekiere

I looked forward to meeting your every week. The distance seperated us but yet I can feel you close, feel you near me like you never left me. When I look back on the days to how we met, I smile at the memories. When I rememeber how you stole my heart, I cry when the feeling is too much to bear. Oh Ced, I never asked you to wait for me but you did, which made me love you more and more each day. It was true, I was afraid to love you, afraid to let you in but I had to take a risk, had to give it a chance. I was afraid to love you but now I’m afraid to lose you. Each week that goes by I count down the days till when I will hav the opportunity to meet you, to see you, to listen to you and to feel you. Some tell me that tis relationship between us will not work but so far we hav gone further than wht people thought of us. Some say we were meant for each other and I believe in that. For all I know, I hav never felt tis way about any other person in tis world but you. The way you hold me up and give me strength and cheer me up and the faith and trust you hav in me make me love you more. It is true, before I met you my days were gray, and now I love you more and more with each passing day. Oh Ced, love you now and always… I miss you so…

Each time ur mood changes I can’t tell wht is wrong or wht I did wrong. I dunno it it was becoz of me, you became like tis. At times I become confuse by wht u do or wht u say. I get confuse wit my own feelings abt you. When I think I hate you for wht u do, I find myself feelin incomplete and wrong. When I love you wit all my heart, I end up feelin confuse wit all of the emotions tht rage in me. At times I feel so insecure around you, at times I feel safe and protected. When I dont see you or talk to you, I feel lonely and lost in this world. Each time tis feelings rage in me I feel so helpless with nowhere to go or turn to. I try to get the feelings and emotions straight but it doesnt happen. Ced, half the times I’m lost in love wit you but each day goes by wit me knowin I love you more n more each day.

The possibilities of living life without you is so clear up ahead, but yet the posibilities of being wit you is also there but faint. I look up to meeting you every week though the distance between us separate us but yet I can feel you close by me. Your presence is felt under my skin, in my memory and every breath I take. Ppl think I’m crazy for loving you but wht can I say when it is true. Mayb it is becoz of the distance between us that makes ppl wonder abt our relationship. I dunno wht goes on in ur mind or wht u think each day when I’m not around you or when I’m not talkin to you but yet you make miracles happen n life seems so much easier to me. I knw I hang on to you when times seem to be too much of a burden to me and when problems seem to make me confuse and frighten. I dunno wht to do at times when I become to tired to fight, to carry on, to keep walkin tis journey but when you are beside me, I find tht strenght in you.Tis week alone has been so much painful for me. I cry myself to sleep when I think abt wht tis week held for me. The pain itself was too much to bear but I didnt want to burden you further. You were always there for me but I hav lived life wit or without you. 10 years has passed but yet I stil cant get over it, I told you abt it but I know you cant do anythin abt it. Tis is a battle for me inside which I hav to overcome on my own. I thought I got over it but I guess I was wrong, it stil follows me like a shadow tht wont leave. It is a part of my life  I cant show or tell for it hurts too much to talk abt it or even to remember it again. Ced, I will never make you stay beside me if you wanted to go but I cant tell you how much I wish you will be beside me forever..

Forgive me for not being there for you when you needed me most, Ced. I don’t know wht you are thinkin at times. You seem cheerful but I can tell somethin is wrong. I didn’t see the clues you left tht showed somethin was wrong, I didn’t see the pain you held inside at times. It hurts me to see you sad, it hurts me when I can do nothin abt it, it hurts me when I’m not there for you like I should be. You never complaint throughtout this relationship though I’m not there half the time. You never complaint though this relationship is now long distance, you stood by me all the way. I didn’t notice the way ur mood change, though u laughed at my jokes but yet u kept ur emotions hidden to me. I look at you and see some1 who doesnt want to burden me wit ur problems n troubles but yet I can tell its not easy for you to keep everythin inside. Ced, I love you for who you are, forgive me for not being there for you, for not being able to comfort you like I should. I dunno wht happen yesterday tht you went crazy. Im sorry I was not on yesterday to comfort you.

If I could catch a rainbow

I would do it for you

Just to share with you its beauty and its colours

On the days that you are feeling blue

If I could build a mountain

You could call it your very own

A place to find serenity and,

A place to be alone

If I could take all your troubles away

I would cast them into the sea

To put your worried mind at ease

And peace back in your heart

If I could take all your sorrows away

I would bury them in the ground

To put a smile back on your face

And joy in your heart

If I could take all your fears away

I would keep them in a bottle, to throw it away

To put confidence back in your life

And ease back in your heart

But all these I cannot do

I can’t build a mountain or catch a rainbow

I can’t take your sorrows and troubles away

I can’t take your fears away

But just let me know whenever you are sad

For I’ll lend you my shoulder to cry on

And an ear to listen to your troubles

For I’ll always be there for you

Just like a friend should

Written by: Cynthia Cornelius

The way we met, the way we became friends, the way you made your way into my heart. You stole it just as you walked into my life. All the barriers set against you, crumble beneath you. I couldn’t stop loving you since then. You made me fall in love wit you and tis life never knew the colour of gray anymore. The way you touched me, speak my name, held me and talked to me made me draw nearer to you. I let  my heart go, my feelings flow and my soul into you. You made me miss you like crazy. My heart aches each time I think abt you. Each time I try to not think of you, you become clearer to me. I was afraid it wont work due to the difference between us, but you held on to me. Everywhere I go and all tht I see is you. Cedric, I cant live tis life witout you. You became all I hoped for. The love of my heart.

A fren, some1 who is so close, who is like a brother to me and the guy tht I love wit my whole heart and soul. Both against each other, both disagree with each other. I get caught in the middle trying to settle the differences between them. Getting hurt at the same time and getting broken down with the arguements between them. My heart breaks at the troubles tht issues between them. I love both of them differently, each in a special way. Cared abt them differently and each of them has a special place in my heart. Life would be nothin special without them. They both make my world go round, both play an important role in my life. They never made me make a choice between them but it hurts me to see them fight, to see them argue. I know Ced has hurt me be4 and tht he did break my heart once. But I stil love him, love him enough to forgive him, to give him a chance. The close fren knew abt it, he told me to forget abt Ced, I couldn’t. He saw the way Ced hurt me, he was there, he was my support in my times of sadness. He kept me goin. He knew I loved Ced more than anythin in tis life. He knew I didnt want to see him and Ced fight and Ced knew the same thing. They tried to be frens but it didnt work. What am I to do abt it? I dont want to lose any of them especially not this two guys, especially not Ced. He is all I hav tht keeps me goin. Lord help me…